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Random thoughts and laughs
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A family in San Diego were moving home, but because the husband was out of town, the wife had the unenviable task of packing everything into cardboard boxes. That night, she collapsed with her young family onto the floor of their home, into sleeping bags. During the night, the weary woman was roused by her youngest son saying that there was a bug in his room. She told him to swat it. When he refused, she made her way into the darkness of the garage, grabbed a can of bug spray and without disturbing the other sleeping children by turning the lights on, sprayed the window ledges and around the sleeping bags of the kids and went back to bed. In the morning she found that it wasn’t bug spray she had used, but blue spray paint.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 10:10:35 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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What lies shivering on the seabed? A nervous wreck.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 10:02:30 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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Two parrots on a perch. One says: "Can you smell fish?"
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 10:01:57 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: Hold down the shift key and hit the '4' key four times.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 10:00:24 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'
Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'
'What does that tell you?'
Watson ponders for a minute.' Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.'
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:42:22 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear"?
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:38:18 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:35:21 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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THE PIANO TUNER
A man moved to another state where he didn't know anyone. In the move, his old piano was jarred, and of course it needed to be tuned when the man arrived.
So he asked around, and was told that Earl Opporknockity was the best piano tuner in the area. The man called Earl and hired him to tune his piano.
Earl had a keen ear and a deft touch, and did a wonderful job tuning the old piano. The man was able to play beautiful music once again, and was very pleased.
After a year or so the old piano started producing sour notes again. So the man called Earl, and asked him to come work his magic on the old piano again.
To the man's surprise, Earl refused, saying "Sorry, I can't accept the job."
"Why not?" the man wanted to know. "I'll pay you twice as much as last time if you'll just come tune my piano."
"Haven't you heard?" Earl asked, "Opporknockity only tunes once."
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:34:29 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:20:15 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:13:03 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:11:49 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:07:56 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:07:22 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are.
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 9:02:49 AM |
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Random thoughts and laughs
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A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...
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| Posted By: 8/27/2010 8:58:20 AM |
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